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Volume 4, Issue 2 |
Healing in the Wake of Revictimization by Becky Carter LCPC "Tell Me Why?" I find this question comes up repeatedly in my work with trauma survivors. It is a challenging question for the client and for the therapist to confront. Survivors want to know why they are repeatedly victimized by their family, partners and the community. They may have been sexually, physically or emotionally abused at a young age and then find themselves in additional situations where they are abused or victimized. Trauma survivors sit with the complex question of what makes them more susceptible to experiencing traumatic events than others. They often encounter life experiences that exacerbate feelings of shame, self blame, and isolation or find themselves in situations that reinforce feelings of fear, powerlessness, vulnerability and violation. Revictimization refers to the phenomenon in which individuals who have experienced sexual abuse as a child are at greater risk than others for adolescent or adult sexual victimization. Retraumatization is a situation, attitude, interaction, or environment that replicates the events or dynamics of the original trauma and triggers overwhelming feelings and reactions associated with it (Kimerling). For the purpose of this article I will use the term trauma "survivors" as I believe even the label of "victim" assumes a constant state of powerlessness for those who have experienced trauma. Before addressing the question "Tell Me Why" in treatment, therapists must investigate their own reactions to the question. What feelings does it bring up in them—anger, angst, impatience, immobilization, hopelessness or the need to quickly find an answer? It is the client's voluntary and self-directed process of answering this question with the support and encouragement of the therapist that will create opportunities for healing. Some clients may need to process specific information regarding their trauma such as understanding that the abuse was not their fault and discussing the motivations of perpetrators. Clients may need to explore how they establish and maintain boundaries in their lives. They may also need to identify unsafe, unhealthy relationships and situations. However, I have done these and other things with many of my clients and they still want to know "Why?" This lets me know that the question and the purpose behind it runs much deeper. Further exploration of the question of "Why?" has led to discussions about the safety of the world itself, understanding people's propensity toward violence and harm, the loss of belief that the world provides healthy opportunities, and the questioning of a survivor's purpose and function in the world given how insecure it can feel and how helpless they feel in it. I try to work with my clients to determine if there are other questions they could be asking themselves that would be healing or that would create a sense of empowerment, self-direction and mobility. The transformation of the question "Tell Me Why" provides healing for survivors in the wake of retraumatization and revictimization. How do therapists create a space that facilitates new questions? Therapists can do this by establishing a safe, trusting, empathic and validating experience for the client. They can allow the question "Tell Me Why" to be repeated as much as necessary and create space to hear the part of the client that is grieving. Therapists can also validate and empathize with the part of the client that is searching for answers regarding their trauma. Asking questions about our trauma is a wonderful sign of strength and resiliency. In addition, therapists can help clients give voice to the parts of themselves that know some things for certain about their trauma. This helps client to feel that, despite the traumatic experiences in their life, they still have productive instincts and definitive feelings about themselves and others. Below are some examples of how clients have transformed the question "Tell Me Why?" into more future oriented and self-empowering questions. How can I learn to function in this world I have come to know? How can I find opportunities to feel empowered and positive in my life? How can I help other survivors feel empowered in their life? What are ways I can honor the parts of me that have experienced trauma? How can I stay in touch with my own strength and resiliency? How can I have more compassion for myself? I find that if the part of the trauma survivor that is stuck with the question "Tell Me Why?" has the opportunity to voice its anger, grief, fear and outrage, they are much more likely to develop a part that starts to ask different questions that can lead to growth and healing. References: Becky Carter, LCPC provides therapy to individuals, couples and families. She has worked with adults and adolescents from diverse backgrounds providing services with sensitivity toward gender, sexual orientation, religion and cultural background. She specializes in treating a variety of issues including sexual, emotional and physical abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, grief and loss, sexuality, chronic pain and illness, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and relationship/marital concerns. She also offers consultation for mental health professionals with an emphasis on the recognition and treatment of compassion fatigue. Ms. Carter also offers support to adoptees and adoptive parents. She understands the complex needs and unique challenges all members of the adoption circle face throughout their lives. She provides therapy to prospective and waiting parents of domestic, transracial, open or closed adoptions and addresses issues facing adopted teens/adults and their families. Ms. Carter has worked in a variety of settings; as a therapist in a community mental health center, as the clinical coordinator of a teen and family counseling and prevention center, and as an independent contractor with a sexual assault and sexual abuse counseling center. Ms. Carter has also provided crisis counseling services in the community in addition to presenting on a variety of topics including vicarious trauma, teen sexual health, sexual assault, and domestic and dating violence. Ms. Carter has had extensive training in working with trauma survivors and with issues of grief and loss. Ms. Carter facilitates a holistic therapeutic process focused on becoming mindful of our experiences and how they affect us emotionally, physically and spiritually so that we can live to our fullest potential. She assists her clients in reclaiming the inner voice that so often gets lost in the complexity of past, present and anticipated relationships and experiences.
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